


If I Should Die Before I...

by spinner_atropos



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Episode: s03e04 Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, Gen, Promises, Sarcasm, Slice of Life, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 04:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1591841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinner_atropos/pseuds/spinner_atropos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You can't seriously think that's really how you're going to die."</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Should Die Before I...

**Author's Note:**

> Short but pointless, my specialty.

 

Mulder's been much too quiet. He seems totally focused on the road, but I know that he's deep in his own head somewhere.

"Scully, you have to promise me something."

"What?" I don't look up from my lapful of case notes.

"If I--if that's really--" I glance up and he's frowning intently, still staring ahead. "If Clyde was right, and that's how I die, you have to cover it up."

This is what he's been brooding over for four hours? And apparently several months? "Isn't that more up the Gunmen's alley?"

"You _especially_ have to hide it from them."

"Does this have something to do with the guy code?"

"They don't know _everything_ about me, and that's just one more thing they don't need to know."

"I don't know if I'm good enough to hide something from the Gunmen."

"You're the only I'd trust with it." How flattering. "Besides, if you bat your eyes at him a little, Frohike will believe just about anything you say." Even better.

"You can't seriously think that's really how you're going to die." He doesn't respond. "Has it occurred to you that he was just pulling your leg?"

"His predictions weren't something he joked about, Scully."

"He didn't even say that's how _you'd_ \--" I sigh and try a different tack. "Do you want to know how he said _I'd_ die?" He looks over, startled and curious. "I don't."

"You don't want to know?"

"I don't die. That's what he said--'you don't.' Obviously that's not true."

"But it's fundamental Christian doctrine that death is just a transition from the physical world. He saw your necklace."

"And that's my _point_ , Mulder. He told me something he thought I would accept and believe based on good old-fashioned cold reading." I think of his "vision" of us. "He also told me about his own death, which was something he'd obviously thought out and planned, and fairly accurately predicted how I would respond. God only knows what about you suggested auto-erotic asphyxiation to him, and I _really_ don't want to think about why it's bothering you this much."

He slides me a quick glance, and I'm not able to read his expression. "Then it's a promise you'll never have to keep."

I roll my eyes heavenward. "Fine, I promise. Do I need to pinkie swear too?"

"Humour me, Scully, just once."

"You have my word that if you die by solo sexual misadventure I'll do everything in my power to conceal it not only from the authorities but also from the Lone Gunmen." He nods, but doesn't say anything. "You know, if you never _try_ auto-erotic asphyxiation, you'll have a zero chance of dying from it. Problem solved." I start thumbing through the other files in my bag, hoping I have one with autopsy photos or something--anything to replace the images that have started to populate my imagination. "Though aside from the post-mortem embarrassment issue, you might as well die doing something you love."

 


End file.
